Fool Proof Torture
by DangerouslyUnbalanced
Summary: Harry has always been overprotective of his children. But then his eldest is dating, and he's not happy about it. Hermione makes a bet he can't refuse. Will he regret it?


**Author's Notes: **This is a side story I decided to start. Ha-ha I got this idea at 3 A.M. kind of odd I know but…yeah same time I got the idea for Gryffindor High. Only it was on a different morning, of course. The first chapter is basically going to give a piece of what will be a puzzle (that was corny). The whole point of the story won't come until chapter two or three. Anyway enjoy!

Let'sGoBANANAS!

**Chapter 1: **Meet Brad

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Thirty-six-year old Harry Potter sat in his office at the Ministry of Magic. He sighed heavily and leaned back in his chair, it had been a hard week. With the break out of five prisoners, the Auror department had been busy.

His eyes traveled to the picture of his family on his desk, he couldn't help but smile with the thought of his son and daughter coming home from Hogwarts for the summer. Sure he had his wife and two other kids' home with him, but he missed having the whole family together.

Over the years Hermione and he had brought four beautiful children into the world. Lily, their first born was 16, then there was James who was 14, next came Sirius who was now 9 years of age, and then there was their 6-year-old daughter Abigail.

Lily was just like her mother, smart, beautiful, curious, and she loved to read. She had her mother's brown curls but she had Harry's emerald eyes. James was more like Harry, he had his love for Quidditch, he was adventurous, and almost never followed the rules. He looked just like Harry when he was 14 only with chocolate brown eyes like Hermione.

Sirius had Hermione's personality, eyes, but he had Harry's messy hair only it was brown. Abigail had Harry's emerald eyes, black hair and sense of adventure. Even though Abigail had Harry's eyes and hair color the rest of her features were like Hermione's.

Harry's thoughts of his family continued as he gathered his paper work and apparated home. He apparated into the common room of the Potter home. Harry walked into the kitchen where he found Hermione preparing dinner, a grin spread across his face as he walked to hug her from behind.

He gave her neck a soft kiss, "How was work?" Hermione asked as she turned around in his arms.

He kissed her on the lips and said, "The office is settling down a bit but it's still busy," Harry explained. "Where is Sirius and Abby?"

"Upstairs," Hermione answered turning back to the food.

Harry leaned up against the counter, "What time are we heading for the train station?"

Hermione thought for a moment, "Since apparation scares Sirius we should probably take the Knight Bus," Harry nodded in agreement. "We should probably leave around 10:30 then." She turned off the oven and said, "Can you go tell the kids' dinner is ready?"

Harry headed up the stairs. He found Sirius in his room playing. When Sirius noticed his father standing in the doorway he showed Harry what it was he was playing with, "What is this?" Harry asked taking a seat next to his son.

It was a figure that was dressed in the Chudley Canons Quidditch robes holding what looked like a small broom stick. Harry looked closer and noticed it looked a lot like Ron, "It's a Quidditch figure see," Sirius explained handing the figure to Harry.

"Where did you get it?" Harry asked examining it closer.

"Uncle Ron gave it to me," Sirius told him taking the figure from his father. Harry gave a small chuckle it was like Ron to give the kids' toys, especially if they had something to do with him.

"Well clean up, dinner is ready," Harry kissed his son's forehead and headed towards Abigail's room.

He walked a couple feet down the hall and entered the door on his right. He found Abby sitting on the floor playing with dolls. Harry took a seat next to her, "Hey daddy," she greeted giving him a hug.

Harry returned the hug and kissed her forehead, "Hey sweetie dinner is ready, so clean up and come downstairs." Abby nodded and started to put the dolls away.

After exiting his daughter's room he headed towards his and Hermione's room to change. Harry changed and went downstairs to find everyone else already sitting at the table eating. He took his place next to Hermione.

A couple minutes past before Harry asked, "How was everyone's day?"

Abby was the first to answer, "Me and Mummy went shopping!" she said happily. Harry and Hermione chuckled.

"What about you Sirius?" Harry asked looking over at the brown haired boy. Sirius glanced up at his father then back down to his plate.

While scooting his food around, Sirius shrugged, "Nothing," Harry looked over at Hermione and she mouthed "later". He took that as a sign that Sirius hadn't gotten in trouble (Hermione would have made Sirius tell him right there or early) but he had a bad day.

"Why don't you tell daddy about what Uncle Ron gave you?" Hermione asked Sirius trying to take the attention off of the bad things that happened.

Keeping his eyes down on his plate he answered, "I showed it to Daddy already," he answered softly. Continuing to stay quiet he began to eat, again rather than scooting the food around.

Attempting to take the attention off of Sirius and to break the silence that came up on them, "How was your day love?" Harry asked facing Hermione.

"Ron came over to watch Sirius while Abby and I went shopping," Hermione replied smiling towards Harry.

"Mummy took me to the book store," Abby shouted randomly hoping up and down in her chair. Harry and Hermione chuckled at their daughter's random outburst.

"Did Mummy buy you some books?" Harry asked his youngest daughter, Abby nodded. "I'm guessing you bought some too," Harry said turning to Hermione, Hermione blushed.

Later on that night Harry and Hermione put the two youngest Potters' to bed. Then they went into their bedroom to relax. After entering their room Harry flopped onto the bed and gave a deep sigh.

Hermione looked his way and smiled, "Tough day?" Hermione began straightening the room. Putting new books on the bookshelves and putting the bags in a pile next to the door.

Harry gave a small nod, "The Auror department is going nuts with the prisoners on the loose," he explained, "but I've had worse," Hermione nodded. She went and sat next to Harry on the bed. Harry stroked her arm softly, understanding why she quieted.

"Yeah," Hermione breathed out remembering how tough it use to be. Flashes of the war, the time they fought in fifth year at the Ministry of Magic, and many more hard times during the war, were going through her mind.

"Hey," Harry said grabbing Hermione's attention, "what was it that got Sirius down?" he asked in attempt to change the subject.

She sighed before answering, "He upset Ron today while Ron was watching him."

"How?"

"Well you know how Sirius isn't exactly the biggest Quidditch fan," Harry nodded, "he told Ron that today and Ron didn't take it too well."

"So Sirius feels bad for upsetting Ron?" Harry asked surprisingly. "Ron got upset because of a little boy said he doesn't obsess over Quidditch?" Harry laughed, after seeing the glare from Hermione he stopped his laughter and waited for her to explain.

Hermione stood up and started to get clothes out to change into, "He feels bad because it's not just Ron it's _Uncle _Ron and he really looks up to him." Harry nodded in agreement. James looked up to Ron since Ron played on the Canons (which was James's favorite team) he just loved to see Ron more.

"Ron got all upset because Sirius isn't a big Quidditch fan," Harry asked surprisingly receiving a nod from Hermione. Sirius was never into Quidditch he like to watch it but he enjoyed reading about it more, like Hermione.

"Remember when you asked Sirius what his favorite team was?" Hermione asked, pulling her necklace off and setting it in the jewelry box on her vanity.

A confused Harry asked, "Yeah he said it was--" Harry stopped knowing where she was going with this.

"Bulgaria," Hermione finished for him. "He told Ron that today," Hermione informed him while taking her shirt off and putting the new one on.

"Oh," he sighed. Harry watched as Hermione finished changing and he noticed she was upset over something. "Did something else happen today?"

Hermione hesitated before answering, "Apparently, anyone with the Potter blood should be a big Quidditch fan," she said in a snobby voice she used usually when she was repeating something stupid Ron had said.

Harry stood up and hugged her from behind, "Our kids can like what they want," Harry whispered in her ear.

"I know, but sometimes he's just so," Hermione said walking out of his arms and away from him.

"Immature," Harry offered, after all the years of hearing Ron and Hermione complain about the other, he could predict just about what she or Ron would say about the other.

"Yeah, honestly our kids can make up their own decisions. Not all decisions but whether or not they like Quidditch or not, or what team is their favorite." Harry took her into his hug once more only this time she didn't fight away.

"I love you," Harry said softly kissing her neck., easing her a bit. She snaked her arms up around his neck as he began nibbling on her neck.

"I love you too," Hermione murmured, pulling away slightly. She smiled, giving him a kiss on the lips. Harry groaned, opening her mouth, his tongue quickly finding hers. Their kiss heated up, and their hands started roaming. A few moments later, Harry started guiding himself and his wife towards the bed, their lips never leaving each other's. They fell on to the bed with a 'thud' and only then did Harry let himself to grab hold of Hermione's shirt and tug.

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The next day the Potter family waited at platform 9 ¾ for the arrival of The Hogwarts Express along with Ron and his wife, Luna and the other parents awaiting for the return of their children. Harry had decided last night after Hermione had told him what had happened the day before that he would talk to Ron about what happened.

"Hey Ron," Harry said getting Ron's attention, "can I talk to you for a second?" Ron nodded and the two of them headed away from the others.

"What is it mate?" Ron asked clueless of why Harry would ask to speak to him alone.

"Hermione told me about what happened between you and Sirius," Harry told him.

"Listen mate it was him--" Ron began.

Harry put his hand up to silence him, "I don't care who started it, you can't pick on a little boy because he doesn't favor your team and because he isn't a big fan of Quidditch."

"But--"

"No,"

"You see I told you this would happen with Hermione being anyone's mother. With them home all day with her they become her little clones," Ron argued, not listening to a thing he was saying, as usual.

"Ron," Harry scolded. "She is my wife, nothing is wrong with her encouraging our kids to read and make their own decisions." With that Harry walked off not wanting to hear anymore from Ron. Harry stood back in his spot next to Hermione and put an arm around her waist.

"How did it go?" Harry shrugged. Hermione took that as a sign that he didn't want to talk about it.

A few minutes later The Hogwarts Express pulled into the train station. Not too long after the train arrived the students were pouring out greeting their families and saying good-bye to fellow class mates. Harry and Hermione looked all around for James and Lily. After a few minutes their fourteen year old son came walking up to them with his trunk and owl.

Hermione gave James a hug with James returning it, Harry came next. "How was your school year?" Hermione asked him, smiling at her son she hadn't seen since Christmas holiday.

James shrugged, "It was ok."

"Did you stay out of trouble?" Harry asked knowing full well that it was impossible for James to stay out of trouble. James just looked down at his feet guilty. Harry just shook his head smiling.

"James," Hermione scolded. "You know we--"

The rest of what she said faded away until she stopped talking when Harry said, "Where is Lily?" Harry wondered aloud completely unaware that Hermione was glaring at him for not taking James getting in trouble seriously. He looked at James for and answer but he just shrugged.

"I dunno, she's probably saying good-bye to Brad," James told them.

"Who?" Harry asked James.

"Brad, you know her boyfriend," James answered waiting for his father to explode. _Did he not hear me, _James thought angrily

"Yeah," Harry said waving James off., _didn't he hear what I just said, _James wondered angrily still awaiting for his father to explode with anger.

After five to ten minutes they spotted Lily by a couple friends who were starting to walk away, but one stayed. It was a boy about sixteen, Harry noted. He was tall muscular and had shaggy blond hair with bright blue eyes. Harry noticed that he was standing really close to Lily.

He didn't think anything of it,. _Lily isn't in to boys yet, _Harry reminded his self. With just one glance over at Hermione he noticed a smile on her face. "What?" he questioned her.

She knew she couldn't tell Harry just yet. _He's explode, _she thought. "Did you know that gestation for an elephant is 22 months?" she asked randomly with a smile on her face. "It's so fascinating! I would never have been able to hold four children for that long!"

_That was random, _Harry thought. _Then again Hermione is random at times, _he thought. "Wait a minute," he said, Hermione turned around and looked at him confused. "You're hiding something," Harry told her pointing a finger at her.

"No," she said, waiting for Lily. She looked back at Harry, who had a disbelieving expression upon his face. Hermione just smirked and looked away.

Harry just grinned, "You know you can't lie to me," he told her.

Without looking back at him she said, "Believe what you want to believe love."

"What is that supposed to mean?" Harry asked already knowing what she meant.

Hermione shook her head, "You remember the Yule ball in fourth year," Harry nodded. "Well you know how I told you and Ron nothing happened between Victor and me," he nodded once again. "We snogged," she told him receiving a shocked expression, "a lot," she added the smirk not leaving her face.

With his mouth wide open Harry stood there staring at her, "You-you snogged Victor…a lot," Harry struggled shocked.

Hermione chuckled, "Just be glad I didn't shag him." He just stood there staring at her shocked. "Or did I?" she added mysteriously.

"Wait--"

"Lily and Brady sittin' in a tree K-I-S-S-I-N-G!" Abby giggled jumping up and down pointing where Lily and her 'friend' were.

Hermione glanced where Abby was pointing and quickly smashed her mouth up against Harry's lips. _Did Abby just say Lily was kissin--, _Harry thought. _Oh well. _He lost all thought as him and Hermione continued.

_I'm so glad he's a guy…he probably can't think right now, _Hermione thought continuing to kiss Harry.

"Um…Mum, Dad," a voice said.

Harry and Hermione broke apart blushing turning around to find their sixteen year old daughter. "Hey honey," Hermione greeted gathering Lily in her arms and hugging her tightly. When they pulled apart she said, "Who is this?" Hermione asked pointing to the boy standing next to her.

"Mum, Dad this is Brad," Lily introduced, "my boyfriend," she continued nervously, eyeing her mum and dad waiting for them to speak or something.

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**A/N: **Well there you go. I'll update as soon as I can, I dunno when but I will.

Jenn

**Random Ramblings**

**Bananas: **how should Harry react?  
_**  
**_**Swishy:**_**Harry doesn't take notice to what he says at first - but then after a few minutes, like right before James leaves, the sentence sinks in - and hes like "WHAT??!?!?!?!?!!?!??!??!?! MY GIRL HAS SOME BOY STICKING HIS TONGUE DOWN HER THROAT?! HOW -DARE- HE?!?!?! RAWR, I'LL EAT HIM ALIVE! I'M HARRY POTTER, FEAR ME!" - Harry then did the Tarzan yell, stripped himself of his clothes until he was left in nothing but the Tarzan suit. A vine suddenly fell, and he shouted. "ME TARZEN, HERMIONE JANE! RAWR, I PROTECT BABY GIRL!" **_


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